Irrational Feelings 9.99:
A Mate's Concern

by Fur and Fantasy
NC-17 for M/M
full contents and notes located at the bottom of the file

"Can you tell me what is bothering you, love?" Thildon asked softly in the early morning the day after NightStalker had gone home.

Modo sighed quietly. "It's my bro's." He murmured. "This is worse than not knowing where they were."

"But they're getting along." Thildon murmured. "They're mates now."

"We're not a team anymore." He said tiredly.

"Oh, love." He pulled the bigger mouse close. "Pack reunions can be brutal until things are sorted out again. Just because Throttle and Vinnie are working through their issues doesn't mean you aren't part of the pack."

"Really, Vinnie looked at me like a total stranger." He said very softly. "And seeing his hatred I'm not even sure I know him. He reminds of those I got into fights with growing up."

"Love, your alpha still calls you his Bro. He remembered you, values you." He hugged Modo close. "But you are safe and whole, and Vinnie is badly injured. Vinnie is sick, Modo-ra, little more. We are strong enough not to dive the sick away, even if the injury take a long time to heal. Please don't give up on Throttle. He still loves you."

"I guess." Modo said quietly. "Guess I'm just feeling like a third wheel on a motorcycle. It's almost easier to think they never showed up, it hurts less that way." His scent was largely dominated by alienation and a deepening depression.

"Would it help to talk to Throttle?" He asked quietly.

"He's got enough to do with Vinnie. If Vinnie sees me that'll just screw everything back to square one." He said quietly. "If he wants Vinnie, I'm not gonna screw things up for him."

"Love, Vinnie won't see or hear you." Thildon said softly. "You can talk to Throttle when he picks up fresh supplies. He always comes alone, to pass on news and pick up what they need."

"Maybe I should." He said quietly. "I know I should be happy they're mates, but I keep thinking that we're two groups not one now. There's them and then there's me. It hurts to think they went on without me, and didn't even say goodbye."

"I thought you were separated unexpectedly." Thildon asked.

"I mean now." He said quietly. "Reunion lasted about 30 seconds."

"Oh, love." He wrapped his body around his mate as best he could. "Please don't give up on it so quickly. Remember how Throttle came to us? How he wanted to be next to you and have you close to him as he recovered? He has not abandoned you."

"I want to believe that." He said quietly. "It's just so very difficult. Everything's inside out from anyway I thought it would be."

"Come with me tonight, when he picks up supplies." Thildon said. "You need to see him. He misses you, even though Vinnie's needs hold him away."

"As long as I won't mess things up for him." Modo said quietly. "He's done so much for us. If he wants Vinnie I don't want to make it more difficult for him." He said sincerely.

"Love, he is Death Angel's son." Thildon pointed out gently. "And he put Vinnie under a Crinos. If they can deal with that, they can deal with me eventually. Your bonds aren't so shattered they can't stand a little more stress. Vinnie is *injured* love, sick. Give him a little leeway until he heals."

"Assuming he does." Modo said quietly, as the visions raced before his eyes again making him shudder involuntarily.

"Love?" Thildon nuzzled him gently.

"Just the visions again." He said quietly, snuggling closer to his mate.

"Want to talk about them?" He kissed Modo gently. "Maybe we can avoid the worst."

"Maybe." He said softly. "They're kind of brief though, just enough to unnerve me. The first one is in a forest, I can see the brush rustling as someone comes through it. The someone is Vinnie and there's blood on his hands and this really satisfied look on his face. Then there's a blur of motion and a black and gray swirled Crinos is on top of him, and then there's screaming and blood everywhere." He shuddered as he closed his eyes.

"His sickness claimed a life, and then his own, most likely." Thildon murmured. "I wish these were controllable to some extent."

"The second is pretty much like the first, only its Throttle in Crinos form." He said quietly. "The last is the most unnerving. I walk into this grassy clearing to find Vinnie hunched over Throttle's lifeless body with a big silver knife in his hand. He turns to face me and I see this twisted bloodlust in his eyes, he's actually proud of what he's done. I feel this firelike rage consume me from the inside and my body transforms into Crinos, and in a fierce battle I take the knife from Vinnie and gut him with it. The last thing I see is myself standing over Throttle, tears falling until they blur the scene."

"Oh, love." He held his mate close. "We need to speak with the Seer about this, and Throttle. It's not right that you are tormented like this."

Modo nodded quietly. "I mean if they're mates now, those dreams are just false alarms, right?" He said uncertainly.

"They sound like your fears, given life." Thildon murmured gently. "Vinnie would never manage to kill Throttle."

"Could be, I suppose. Maybe he could, if he was sneaky and got the drop on him, or got the first shot while Throttle was asleep."

"Do not underestimate the pack that protects them, or Death Angel herself." Thildon said softly. "It would be very difficult to pull that off with a ghost like her watching."

"I guess it would." He said quietly. "It was just very disturbing to watch. And there was something wrong about that knife, I can't pin down what, but there was something." He said very softly.

"Wrong, like it wasn't a functional design, or wrong like it was a Fetish knife?"

"The latter, I think." Modo said uncertainly. "Can a knife be hungry?"

"Yes," Thildon nodded with a shiver. "We know of several. That would make it a very powerful Fetish though, if not an Artifact. And that is a *bad* thing."

"Could something that powerful be enough to let Vinnie kill Throttle?" He asked almost too softly to be heard.

"Yes," he swallowed with difficulty. "It could."

"I don't really understand Fetishes well, would Vinnie be able to wield something like that?" He asked, a sick worry in his stomach.

"It depends on what it was, and just what he is." Thildon sighed. "And that's beyond my knowledge, really. The Seers and spell-weavers would know better than I."

"Guess we need to talk to the Seer, huh?" He said quietly.

"Yeah, we do." He murmured gently, nuzzling the gray mouse.

"It's a bit early now, we can do it later." Modo murmured softly, nuzzling his mate affectionately.

"Yes, and work off some of that worry the pleasurable way." He rumbled, his hands shifting from holding to caressing.


"Modo," Throttle was clearly surprised to see his gray Bro on his supply run, and just as clearly pleased from the grin that rapidly spread across his face. "How are things going, Bro?"

"Not so great, Bro." Modo said with quiet honesty, though the grin on his Bro's face made him feel better, if a little foolish.

"What's wrong?" Throttle instantly focused on his friend.

"Guess I'm just not handlin' things not goin' the way I expected very well." He muttered softly, an air of feeling like an idiot surrounding him. "I dreamed about us gettin' back together a lot over the years. This hasn't been close." He sighed.

"Bro, it's hit all three of us hard." He gripped Modo's shoulder. "You're not being foolish for being worried. We both have good cause, with how Vinnie's been acting."

"I thought you two had gone, 'cause you didn't want me around anymore." He said softly, leaning into the contact as the pain that had been simmering began to surface. "Especially after Vinnie's rejection."

"Ah, Bro." Throttle voice was soft. "He ran because of me; he can't deal with what I am. It's not easy to deal with those problems when skinning the hard-headed fool isn't an option."

"I know." Modo said quietly. "The time-tested approach just isn't an option." He shook his head quietly. "We still a team?" He asked very softly, with equal parts of doubt and hope in his voice.

"Never doubt that, Modo." Throttle looked up so their eyes met through his shades. "You are my Bro, my packmate, my brother." He said with soft intensity. "I'm not leaving you, even if I have to spend some time working on our thick-headed Bro alone."

Modo nodded quietly. "Guess these dreams are just shaking me more than I want to admit. I should know better."

"Dreams?" Throttle raised a curious eyebrow.

"Modo-ra has an uncontrollable Seer gift." Thildon said softly from the shadows nearby. "Sight Beyond The Stars says his cybernetic eye is warping the gift to show the worst, not most likely, possibilities."

"Anything that can be done?" Throttle's gaze fixed on the younger mouse.

Thildon nodded. "Starcrossed is working on it. It should be ready in a couple weeks, but we'll have to go to Green Glass Tower to have it put in."

Modo looked a bit surprise. "Oh, I didn't know she'd actually got that far." He smiled. "Oh, I don't know if you'd heard, but it turns out I'm Kinfolk." The gray mouse said looking at his Bro, with a certain pride in his voice that was hard to miss.

Even with the shades the startled look on Throttle's face was obvious, and became more so as it faded to delight. "That is *great* news, Bro." He grinned broadly. "Have you two talked kits yet?"

"Only sort of, but I think we'll have some eventually." He grinned. "Though I did get one of the required sirings taken care of this week. Strange as the idea is to me." He paused, before speaking. "I guess there's a decent chance that Rimfire's Garou, 'cause of how long it's been since my family line produced one."

"He must be close, if he isn't showing already." Throttle drew a sharp breath.

"Scouts already on it, Throttle." Thildon said quickly. "They'll find him and bring him home."

"Yeah, I talked to the Chief, as soon as it hit me what my being Kinfolk meant for him." Modo said quietly. "Scares me to think about him running into some of the damn skullbusters who are left."

"Thankfully most were dealt with." Throttle said softly. "And the kids' loner tendency is going to help him in this case. He might even be under someone's wing already."

"Yeah, dealt with a few of 'em myself." Modo said darkly. "And I hope so, but still I'll feel better when the scouts bring him back here."

"Me too, Bro. I like the kid." Throttle smiled softly. "Though I guess I'll have to stop calling him that soon."

"He's still only nineteen." Modo chuckled, and then looked at his mate with a smirk. "Okay, maybe we should stop calling him a kid."

"Particularly after his First Change." Thildon smirked back.

"Yeah, he'll be a bit big then." Modo chuckled, trying to picture Rimfire in Crinos.

"And a serious, *serious* hunk." Throttle chuckled.

"I'm sure he'll be glad to hear that." Modo chuckled, and then pulled Thildon into a bear hug. "But I've got my serious hunk right here." He said affectionately.

"I'm sure he'll have to fight off the suitors." Throttle chuckled. "New blood and very cute."

"I bet he's gotten cuter since we left, he's had years to develop." Modo chuckled. "'Course, I think he's got a crush on you, or at least he did."

"He did?" Throttle couldn't hide his surprise.

"Uh huh." Modo smiled. "Asked me about it once cause he was worried that he was lusting after his uncle. I explained that it was okay, 'cause it wasn't a blood relation, and besides there wasn't any danger of kits."

"Just as well he didn't ask more directly." Throttle shook his head. "Last time I saw him he was younger than I would have considered."

"I kind of pointed that fact out gently to him." Modo nodded. "He didn't get what the problem was, but figured he could wait."

"He'll probably get it in another fifteen or so years." Throttle chuckled. "If he hasn't settled down by then."

"I don't know if fifteen years is long enough to settle him down." Modo smiled fondly. "Kind of reminds me of Vin that way." He added, with a slightly pained look crossing his face briefly.

"Not as hard-headed about hate, though." Throttle sighed. "Not my idea of the best way to spend a honeymoon."

"No, his Mama didn't hold with hate any more than mine did." Modo said softly. "I'm just glad he isn't here yet, I really don't want him to see this side of Vinnie."

"I doubt he'll have a choice, Bro." Throttle sighed. "Unless we keep Vinnie separate. He's not going to break easily."

"I guess it's something to be grateful for that my distant ancestor's spell keeps the visible signs suppressed." He said quietly. "I don't think Rimfire would handle it well if Vinnie's hate got directed at him."

"Bro, he likes guys. That's quite enough." Throttle sighed. "That mouse's head is *whacked*."

"Guess it's just a good thing I didn't know that when I met him." Modo said very softly.

"Yeah, that would have been ugly." Throttle shook his head. "Thing is, I've been making some pretty serious passes at him for years and he never noticed. Though he didn't notice Charley pining for him either."

"Ugly wouldn't have been the word." Modo said quietly. "And the Biker Mice sure as hell wouldn't have happened, no way I would've teamed with a skullbuster."

"Yeah, I know." Throttle sighed deeply. "Things would have been *so* much saner if mom had just let me kill him when I spotted him."

"She wouldn't let you kill him?" Modo asked, genuinely surprised. "I would've thought she would've expected you to."

"I gave up trying to understand her orders before she died." He muttered. "Damn mouse is still proud he killed her."

"And you can still love him?" Modo asked confused.

"Yeah, though I'm really beginning to doubt it's my idea." Throttle scowled.

"Your mama still trying to keep you from killing him?" Modo guessed quietly.

"I doubt anything so simple." He sighed. "I knew he killed her when I first saw him."

"And you didn't kill him then?" Modo asked, seriously shocked. "I figured you just didn't know till he bragged about it."

"I watched it happen, the whole pack did." Throttle shuddered at the memory. "I hunted every one of those bastards down and repaid the pain with interest. He's the last one, and she ordered me to protect his damn hide." He was trembling in rage by the time the words were out and Modo felt the fear and ready-to-bolt tension in his mate as Thildon wrapped his tail around his waist.

"Damn, Throttle. And you've been doing that all along." Modo whispered, as he put a supportive hand on the tan mouse's shoulder, feeling some of the explosive rage dissipate, though it still ran deep and hot. "I don't know how you do it. I couldn't." He said softly.

"Nothing else was an option." He answered simply.

"I guess." He shook his head quietly, and sighed. "Just kind of disturbing thinking I defended him to my gang, and they were right about him." He said quietly.

"He never hunted again." Throttle said simply. "But yeah, they were right, and then some."

"They couldn't get why I didn't see it, and why I didn't kill him like we always did with lone skullbuster." He said softly. "Guess I didn't want to believe it."

"Didn't, couldn't, wouldn't ... I wouldn't put it past Death Angel to work on you too. That mouse means something to her. Just won't say what or why." He growled.

"Gods, that makes no sense." Modo shook his head. "Sweet Mars, she's protecting her own murderer." He said in a completely befuddled tone.

"I figured out two, at least." Throttle shook his head. "Forcing him to see Mars with only Garou left, lush and green again because of the blackeyes and loving one of them. And as a object lesson that even a skullbuster could be redeemed."

"The first I can believe." Modo said quietly. "The second I'll believe if it happens. I've seen what happens when it doesn't far too clearly."

"Remember how she died?" He asked with a tight throat. "She was big on peace."

"Peace is something I've never seen a skullbuster understand." Modo said quietly. "They were always the impediment to peace."

"Can't say I'd mind if somebody could convince her of that." Throttle said softly. "I'm tired of being manipulated so much."

"I imagine, Bro." Modo said sympathetically stepping closer, so he could put his arm around the tan mouse. "But as unsure as I am about what I think and feel about things, I'm sure as hell not picking an argument with Her."

"Can't blame you, Bro. She not one to pick an argument with." Throttle said, leaning into the contact. "At least if it's the first it'll be over with soon."

"Yeah, but if it's the first she won't have much use for him after its over." Modo said gently. "I can't imagine she actually likes him."

"No, she doesn't." Throttle said grimly. "It's not going to be pleasant any way it goes down."

"Bro, I don't know what I think or feel about Vinnie right now." Modo admitted softly. "But I'm here for you, no matter what."

"Thanks, Bro." He murmured. "I need all the support I can get right now."

"Just don't be surprised if I start showing up on more of these delivery runs." He said softly. "Right now these separations are just rough." He smiled trying to make a joke of it.

"I know, Bro." The tawny mouse nodded. "Rough on both of us."

"It's a good thing that Thildon's keeping an eye on me." He smiled fondly. "Someone has to keep some perspective."

"Somehow, I think everyone *but* the three of us have it in perspective." Throttle chuckled slightly. "I'm glad you found a good lifemate, Bro."

"Thanks, Bro." Modo smiled. "Yeah, he's the best. And I hope things work out for you with Vinnie, if that's what you want." He said quietly. "I just imagine he's in denial about a lot of things right now."

"Oh, yeah." Throttle shook his head. "Big time. If there is a problem to have with this situation, he has it."

"Hardly surprising. Could've knocked me over with a feather when I heard you two were mates." Modo said a little disbelieving. "I didn't even think he liked guys that way."

"He doesn't. He actively hates same-sex mates." Throttle shook his head. "But he's hooked on me at least as bad as I am on him. Feels more like an addiction than love, honestly. Except when I'm holding him, when he's asleep and the world is all quiet except for his breathing. It feels right then."

Modo sighed and hugged his Bro tight. "Well, I hope things work out for you. You deserve to be happy, Bro." He said sincerely.

"We all do, Modo." Throttle said stubbornly. "We all deserve it after this life."

"I'll be happy once you are, Bro." Modo said quietly. "Aside from missing you guys, I was pretty happy before you arrived. It's a good life here." He murred, looping his tail around Thildon's waist affectionately.

"Yeah, it is." Throttle nodded, his own tail wrapping around Modo's waist. "I keep thinking of moving to Earth when I don't need to be around anymore. Get back with Charley and settle down, just have a nice quiet life for a while."

"That'll make it tough for us to be together." Modo said quietly. "Unless Thildon feels like moving to Earth. There's someone there I wouldn't mind looking up again." He murmured.

"I don't mind, if it's in the Bridge network." The rusty mouse said, though the undercurrent in his voice and body language belied that.

"It's not that dangerous any more." Throttle said softly. "They've forgotten."

"Who's forgotten what?" Modo asked curiously.

"Earth's Garou." Throttle explained. "It's why we never evacuated to there. Earth was considered more dangerous than the Plutarkians, because of the war."

"You had a war going with the Garou on Earth?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah, bloody, nasty vicious thing." Throttle nodded. "Skullbusters vs. Garou are nothing compared to two worlds of Garou trying to exterminate each other."

"But you think they've forgotten about it?"

"Well, the ones I encountered didn't seem to react." Throttle shrugged. "And that's not a response they'd have normally."

"Well, that's a good thing." Modo smiled. "Don't need a rehash of an old war."

"No kidding. Especially not now." Throttle murmured. "There's enough blood on the books already."

"And more to come." Modo said quietly. "Retaking Mars is going to be messy."

"I was already counting that." He nodded fractionally. "But this time we have numbers and power on our side, and Mars isn't a target worth them keeping anymore, except for pride."

"I'll just be glad when the mouse killing mouse is over." Modo said very softly. "Seen too much of that as it is."

Throttle nodded. "There won't be any mice left when Mars is reclaimed." He said softly. Just Vinnie, and he can't breed."

"None? I thought scouts were going to locate the reasonable ones." He said very quietly.

"Kinfolk aren't mice, Bro." Throttle said softly. "We can't interbreed, even if we look like them, we aren't mice."

"Oh, I didn't know that." He said quietly. "Guess my family gave me a weird view of things, since none of us have any of the signs. I figured we were just mice with one Garou mixed in about three generations back."

Throttle shook his head. "Unless a Celestian or similar decided to mess with things, we just look like them. We aren't exactly related."

"That's kind of weird. But it explains why everyone in my village tended to takes mates from within it."

"Even if they didn't remember why anymore." Throttle nodded.

"No, they didn't." Modo nodded. "But they also didn't take well to skullbusters as a few who wandered through discovered the hard way."

"I bet." Throttle chuckled. "Instincts and pack protection run deep in our kind."

"Yeah, that's where the Sharks came from." Modo grinned predatorily.

"And both of us." He nodded. "I ran across a few in my hunting years. I think I picked one for a Bro too."

Modo grinned broadly. "Yeah, that you did. File that as something else it would freak Vinnie out to learn about me. I took down more than a few skullbusters myself." He said proudly.

"Bro, change one word, and that is exactly what and how Vinnie says it." Throttle said quietly. "Murder isn't something to be proud of, no matter how justified or necessary."

Modo nodded. "I guess not. It just seemed right at the time. They were killing innocents, and needed to be stopped." He said quietly, and a bit subdued.

"Bro, it *did* need to be done, and it *was* right." Throttle said sternly. "Murder needs to be punished and serial killers stopped any way necessary. It's just not something to be proud of years later."

"You know I hadn't even thought about it since we left Mars." Modo said quietly. "Guess that's what seeing you and Vinnie dead in the same vision will do to me."

Throttle nodded and let out a deep breath. "I understand Bro. He's drawn out the pride I once had in my killings too. It's just important not to hold on to it."

"I'll try." Modo murmured. "Just easier to be angry at him right now."

"Believe me, I know." The tawny mouse sighed deeply. "He is massively infuriating when we don't have Plutarkians to keep us distracted."

"Massively infuriating was easy to take." Modo muttered.

"Bro," Throttle said softly, "I won't stop you, whatever you choose."

Modo shook his head. "I don't know what I think, that's the problem." He sighed deeply. "One part of me sees a mouse I used to call my Bro and figures it must have meant something. Another part is feeling really stupid about missing a skullbuster that close. And a third part figures there must be something worth saving if you want him so bad. It's very confusing."

"I'm in no better shape." Throttle murmured. "That I know I'm being manipulated doesn't help any."

"Guess we just gotta muddle through." Modo shook his head. "We've handled everything else, I guess we should be able to handle Vinnie turning out to be more stupid than previously thought." He said, not terribly convinced but trying.

"It is *so* temping to just mind-wipe him and raise him up right." Throttle rumbled in frustration. "But that got nixed too."

"That sounds like the best idea so far." Modo agreed. "Does your mother usually make things this difficult for you?" He asked both curious and frustrated at the same time.

"Only where he's involved, and any ideas about giving up and dieing." He humphed.

"Well, I kind of agree on the dieing part. Don't go doing that." Modo said somewhat urgently. "Does complicate things when she won't allow the good solutions."

"Yeah, well, she's got something in mind for him. I just don't know what." Throttle muttered. "It is good to see a sane friend, Bro. I'm glad you came."

"So am I. I'll try to come on at least some of the supply runs, if you'd like." Modo offered.

"I'd really appreciate it." Throttle squeezed his tail gently around Modo's waist. "It's too easy to get sucked into his insanity without the reality check."

"Anything you need, Bro, you just ask." Modo said firmly. "You need me here, then I'm here."

"We need each other." Throttle said softly. "More than ever before, we need each other, Bro."

"No arguing that." Modo said quietly, as he put arms around the tan mouse and hugged him while Throttle soaked up the support willingly.


"Okay, Thildon-ra." Modo said gently. "What's bothering you? You've been upset since I talked with Throttle."

"All this manipulation ... it worries me." The young Garou said quietly, leaning close to his mate. "That she'd use her own son like that."

Modo sighed. "I'm not happy about it either, love." The big gray mouse admitted. "Just not the way a mother's supposed to behave." He said very softly.

"It's not the way a Garou is supposed to behave." Thildon shuddered. "It's just not right."

"As unsure as I am about how I feel about Vin, I don't like the thought that he's being set up for something nasty. I especially don't like what it'll do to Throttle, he loves that white mouse." He said softly.

"Depends on how much she's twisting his feelings." He murmured. "That mixed reaction just isn't right."

"The whole situation just isn't right, but there isn't anything we can do about Her." Modo shook his head. "Can spirits go insane?" He wondered aloud.

"Yes, though if they get too twisted, they loose their ability to interact with us, and the physical world." Thildon explained. "She can't be too disconnected with reality to interact and control it as much as she has."

"Yeah, but if what if she got just twisted enough that accomplishing whatever goals she had was more important than anything else, including her son." He said softly.

"I don't know, but every step she is away from sane and stable limits her." Thildon considered. "But it might explain why she has such power with Throttle and Vinnie, but hasn't done much else. I don't know."

"Is there someone we should talk to, who might know?" He asked quietly, worried about Throttle.

"It's another Seer and spell-weaver talk." The rusty mouse chuckled. "We're going to have some interesting rumors running around at this rate."

"Oh, what sort?" Modo asked with a grin.

"Like Sight Beyond The Stars has chosen another student." Thildon chuckled.

Modo shook his head. "Yeah, with all the control of a drunken driver on Saturday night." He chuckled. "I'm really glad I don't have any control, 'cause I don't want to be a Seer. It's just not me."

"I still wish it didn't torture you so much." He said softly, moving close to his mate in the dense undergrowth.

"It'll probably calm down as I get more secure with what's going on. I was just terrified that I was losing Throttle." He admitted reluctantly.

"And when you get your new eyes." He smiled softly.

"That too." Modo said quietly. "Still hard to believe I'm getting new eyes. Throttle could use new ones too, the ones Karbunkle gave him don't work quite right, and they hurt him." He said remembering things that his Bro never mentioned any more, but he was sure hadn't changed.

"They're ready when he is." Thildon said softly. "But he has to be ready to take the down-time to have them replaced and get used to the new ones."

"I don't see that happening before Mars is retaken." Modo said softly. "And he certainly won't with the way things are with Vin. Gods, I wish his mother wasn't complicating things."

"I wish we knew *why*." He shivered. "That's just unnerving."

"No kidding." Modo said quietly. "On the surface, it just makes no sense."

"And the ways to make it make sense aren't going to be easy to swallow." Thildon shook his head. "It's not been a good week on the personal front."

"That's for sure." Modo said quietly. "I just don't get why she's trying to get Throttle hurt, and almost anyway this works out he's going to." He sighed and shook his head. "The dead have no business hanging around and bothering the living."

"At least most of them are happy to be Remembered on, and most of the rest happy to take up residence in a kit sired that night or so."

"But my Bro had to get one who did like either option, and now likes to co-pilot his life." He shook his head.

"Yeah, and a mate who doesn't like guys or Garou." Thildon shook his head. "That's just too weird."

Modo turned and swept his mate into a close hug with his tail around his mate's waist. "I am so lucky to you as my mate, Thildon-ra." He rumbled happily in the younger mouse's ear as the embrace as returned tightly.

"So am I, Modo-ra." He rumbled and nuzzled his mate.

"I know I've been moody lately, and I'm grateful that you've been so understanding." He said, giving his mate a tender, loving kiss.

"I'm here for you, love." Thildon murmured after returning it. "Just like you've been there for me."

"I know, I just wanted you to know I appreciated it." He said quietly. "Especially since I don't think things are going to get any easier for a while. Sounds like Throttle's going to need me on those supply runs for awhile." He said simply. "To restock his supply of reality."

"Better to do it than not, love." Thildon murmured. "Kin stick together. I just hope you can join them for a little while soon."

"Of course, I'll do it." He said firmly. "He's my Bro. As for joining them, that's up to Vinnie." He said quietly.

"I know," he nuzzled the gray mouse. "We'll pull through this together."

"Yes, we will." Modo said kissing his mate softly.

"Now, lets get some sleep before another female claims you for several days." Thildon grinned cheekily.

"Sleep sounds good, and unless there's some rule that says I have to do it right away, I don't feel like doing that again right away." He said quietly.

"No, no rule." He smiled gently. "There will just be a push before everyone heads to Mars."

"That probably means they'll be lining up more candidates for me." Modo shook his head in amusement. "I understand the reasoning, but it just feels weird. Not a big turn-on either." He said quietly.

"I know love. I had to do it too, and I really don't like females."

"That must have been rough." Modo said sympathetically. "I had trouble getting up for it, and I like females somewhat."

"Aphrodisiac hallucinogens and a skilled mate can make you think you aren't with who you're with." He said softly. "Only way I could pull it off."

"Drugs." Modo shook his head, a bit disturbed by the thought that they go to such lengths to make someone mate who didn't even like females.

"Yeah, I'm that stubborn." Thildon nuzzled him.

"Maybe they should've just accepted that you don't like females." Modo said quietly, still a bit shaken. Flashbacks from some of things mice had been forced to do using drugs in the camps hitting him.

"*They* did, love." The younger mouse snorted. "I wasn't going to let that stop me from siring."

"Oh, sorry. I though they made you." Modo said a bit sheepishly. "I didn't figure siring would be that interesting to you if you didn't like females."

"It's the most important thing we can do, outside of raise kits." He said simply. "The next generation is everything."

"Guess that's something I'm still getting used to." Modo said quietly. "On Mars we'd kind of accepted that we were the last generation."

"Why go on, then?" He asked in both confusion and concern. "Everything you went through, for nothing?"

"To make sure the fishfaces knew they'd been in a fight. To not let them have Mars without it costing them something." He said softly. "Deep down, when we were honest with ourselves, we knew we couldn't beat them. The planet's dead, and there aren't enough mice to rebuild." He said sadly. "One last blaze of glory was all we really hoped for."

"How depressing." Thildon shuddered.

Modo nodded. "I can see that now." He said quietly. "But back before, we didn't really have any options; just fight or surrender."

"Which really only leaves fight." He nodded.

"Yeah, so we did." Modo said softly. "It's nice to think that we'll be able to have a somewhat normal life in the future, that the war really has an end we'll see." He smiled quietly. "Maybe even think about kits."

"Yes, and Mars green and wet again." Thildon smiled supportively. "We'll get there."

"It's still hard to believe." The gray mouse said quietly. "After looking across red dust as far as the eye can see, its hard to believe it can be brought back."

"It is, with the worldsoul." Thildon nodded, sure of himself. "And that we brought with us."

Modo shook his head. "Guess maybe I've been at this war a bit too long, but I'm hard-pressed to believe a planet has a soul, much less that its something you take with you, like so much luggage." He said quietly, not really arguing just having difficulty believing.

"It's okay, love," Thildon patted his arm reassuringly. "You'll see."

"I'm sure I will." Modo smiled.

Irrational Feelings 9.99: A Mate's Concern

NC-17 for M/M
Het Level is None
Slash Level is Slash Smut Level is Medium
Femslash Level is None
Herm Level is None

36 KB, Story is Complete, Series is Finished
Written August 31, 2002 by Rauhnee Ranshanka, Todd McCall and Vorex

Setting: Biker Mice from Mars, Haloeth

Primary Races: Human, Loup Maru, Martian Mice

Contents: Slash (M/M).

Pairings: Modo/Thildon, Throttle/Vinnie, others

Blurb: Modo's tags along on a supply run for Throttle, and learns a lot of things he'd rather not have known.

Disclaimer: All things taken directly from the sources listed under 'Fandoms' belong to the owners of those shows. No harm is intended and we're definitely not making any money. Now, the things we created are ours, and if you see 'Non-FanFic' up there, it's probably all ours.

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